Do you think you overreact?
Do you always say things to people in anger that you didn’t want to and later it causes you guilt?
Do you cry and cry to the point of losing your composure or control on what is spoken next by you?
Do you feel you are the one who appears wrong just because of how you react, while someone else’s wrong gets hidden because of this.
The reasons we lose our cool, say bad things, overreact happens because of a baseline problem and that is the inability to accurately understand, label, and process our emotions! If we feel disgusted, insulted, stepped over, misunderstood and we don’t take or give enough time to process these emotions, what happens next is that we may end up spiraling down in emotional pain…
What we need is the ability to first understand why so much pain is accumulated, is it really the one small thing or is it the collection of too many problematic things that have happened in the past that are unresolved, unspoken, non asserted? And does that pain, trauma needs a process, needs listening first?
What we need is the ability to understand: are we feeling insecure, do we fear losing control or do we feel our power will go? What is the baseline belief that makes us explode, react, feel bad about it! And then fix that…
What we need is the ability to understand what our triggers are. Does some fact hidden in the message that we are denying to accept hurt us and cause us to react!!! Whatever this might be, it needs resolution and needs … healing… therapy at Happyyou 24|7 is a great way to balance out not just your emotions momentarily but ensure you are master of them in the long run.
Some tips that may however help you in the moment are:
1. Quickly disconnect from what is being said/happening and yourself. No one’s words define you, no one’s attacks or words label you, you don’t need to defend your image because it’s unharmed. You need to not take someone else’s word as a reflection of who you are.
2. Understand another person’s emotional state and level of empathy: some people just lack basic skills and some others are going through tough things themselves a quick glance of person’s emotional state in front of you, helps calm down
3. Don’t immediately think your emotions are all 100% true. We sometimes feel deeper anger as we are frustrated with something else, we may be bitter because of a different event. So before leading to an emotional reaction or meltdown, process and see is this incident even the reason, why you are feeling so deeply unsettled? This reflection in itself heals.
4. Try to speak in your head and process how it feels before saying it out loud. Assertion and anger or overreaction are opposite ends of the emotional health spectrum. Saying the right thing is not the same as hurting someone or yourself…
If you feel you are too fragile emotionally, consider seeking therapy today, it can change things for you for great!